End of the Year

As soon as work is done today starts my mini vacation for 11 days. This year has seen a lot of ups and a lot of downs. The more memorable things is my partner in crime got her son back from Cali. I switched departments due to not wanting to work with a dumb bitch anymore and to learn more and new things. The dumb bitch got smart and walked away. I moved from crackton. We've lost some wonderful people, my brother in law's son and Diva's father. Also all the senseless shootings that took so many lives. Easter with my family was wonderful and to find out that I'm not as an outcast as I once thought. 2012 has had it's hardships and rewards and here's to the future and to 2013. Oh and the world didn't end today, I bet Vegas is paying out some money for all the bets lmao!! I love you all and hope that you have a wonderful holiday and a happy prosperous new year. See you all in 2013.

Addiction is Hard

We all have our vices and addictions to things that are very hard to overcome. For the bear and me we have our typical tobacco addictions. I like to drink, him not so much. We both have one though that is very costly and it's called gambling. We love those damn slot machines. For me, I have a hard time walking away when I'm there, for the bear he has a hard time dealing with his boredom. If we could only break ourselves from what some people call evil, we would be okay. But since we are human, it doesn't seem too likely that this will happen anytime soon. Just chalk up our losses and move on right?

SNOW

As many of you wake up this morning, there is snow on the ground. As much as I do love the snow, I hate driving in it with others who don't know what the fuck they are doing. As you venture out today be careful.

Weekend Recap

Friday was your typical checked out mentality at work. After getting all my necessary work done, I helped my partner in crime with a few things for Corporate. I had lunch with my sister in law and tiny and had a nice rare conversation. She was there to take advantage of the 50% sale we have annually. The more I talk to her the more I love her. At 3:30 the boss man comes in and says "We are getting out at 4". Even though I was supposed to leave at 3 because the accounting peeps were hitting the casino, but after a short talk with the bear about our finances we both decided it was best if I didn't. 4 came and we all checked out for the weekend. Even though the weekend was here I was looking forward to the next week because it was one week before I have 11 days off. So Friday evening was uneventful, I went to bed at my normal time. Saturday was the day of my partner in crime's party. I was so excited for this release and having some fun with my friends and coworkers. There were drinks and tamales, chips and homemade salsa (which was amazing) and a weird board game that we played for a small amount of time before the partner in crime's neighbors came over with their kiddos. The kids were cute and the neighbors were really nice. We all had a good laughs and decided to watch Ted. Not a bad movie from the parts that I actually sat and watched. To say that we all were drunk was an understatement even though a few peeps peaced out early. At 1am we decided to call it a night and the bear drove home since he wasn't drinking. Got up about 10am without that much of a hangover, but still feeling the affects from the nights event decided to call off all plans and just relax at home. So I caught up on my wrestling and watched the Seahawks kill bills.....hahaha see what I did there. It was another great weekend with me getting up at 3:30am this morning because the bear has an eye appointment later today and I have to leave work early. So here is to a speedy week because next week it's Christmas and boy am I excited to see the faces of our family light up.

Continue

As we continue on, remember to hold your loved ones tight. Tell them we love them.

Horrible Events

The holidays is meant to be a time of joy and family. The last couple of days have been nothing close to that. Some clearly mentally damaged individuals thought it would be a great idea to take their guns and shoot innocent people. The Clackamas mall shooting was horrifying but this latest shooting actually involved children. 20 children will never have a full life due to a crazy guy with a gun. The parents are torn from their children and they don't know why. My heart goes out to those hurting during this terrible time.

Tell Me This

How do you measure someone's worth? Is it how they contribute to society? Or maybe it's their good looks that get them all the attention. In any case, I believe it's the whole picture, their ups and downs that makes a person. You can have the greatest looks in the world and still turn out to be a complete douche, but you can look homeless and have the heart of gold. Me personally, I look for attitude rather than looks. Like the old saying goes "You can't judge a book by it's cover," (in most cases because there are those that you know are just going to annoy the fuck out of you at first glance). I really believe that attitude measures the person to the fullest because attitude tells what said person is willing to do, how far they want to go in life and what kind of ambitions they have. Not too long ago, I had the crappiest disposition on life and where I was headed. It took a few good people to show me the right direction and guide me on to the path that will lead me to where I want to go. Who else feels this is the start of Dorothy Gale's trip to OZ? Just follow that yellow brick road BITCH!!

Loving The Holidays

As a family tradition, it's almost time to decorate the parents tree again. I so do love decorating the tree. They have the best ornaments and the coolest retro stuff like Bubble Lights. Our shopping is almost done, only 2 left to shop for and it looks as though they are getting gift cards this year. Nothing wrong with gift cards especially when they are the hardest to shop for. I realized that there is only one pay day left before Christmas and if they don't want gift cards they need to start hinting fast. The only thing that I love more than shopping for Christmas and decorating the tree is wrapping presents. It's so festive and the somewhat skill I got from wrapping came when we were raising money for our trip to Cali when I was a sophmore in high school. Oh memories. 

Destiny and Happiness

"You should never feel as though you are trapped inside of your own life". These words have never rang so true for some of us lately. There are so many things in this world that makes us all feel this way sometimes. Rather it be at our jobs or in our relationships, there has to be an even balance between all aspects for our own well being. Sure, there are times where we second guess ourselves making us think if it is the right thing, but hell what is the right thing. Is the right thing following our dreams to better ourselves to make us happy? Is it staying put and locked in something that makes us OK or just plain miserable?  And what about those that we leave behind along the way, are we supposed to stop caring about how they may be effected by any of our changes? Life's decisions are really hard especially when you have a heart and feelings. Or for those who have always put others before themselves. I believe that everything happens for a reason and for those who truly say they love you wouldn't expect you to do anything less. Sure there are going to be tears from change but no one has the right to hold anyone back nor would they expect anything but the best for our futures. So go on and be happy, make those changes that will benefit you. It's not selfish to want to take care of yourself in the way you see fit. It's sort of like cleaning out your closet of things you no longer wear, or getting rid of all those childhood things that defined us as children. All it takes is one step at a time, and for some of us who have been stuck for awhile, it's that giant leap forward that makes us better.

That is That

You know the expression "You've made your bed now you must lay in it". Well this couldn't be more of the truth with recent events. Some people just don't get the whole picture, just looking for them and only them, you know the selfish self centered ones. The day has finally come to where the lies and backstabbing has finally caught up to where they have no outs any longer. It's bittersweet, meaning that this shouldn't have been dragged out as long as it did. To quote Kelly "I don't wish bad things, but I don't wish you well". But ever since I moved on to better things my previous hurt feelings have died and now it's been nothing but.......well nothing at all towards this person.

Weekends Are Great

Friday night, I went out with co-workers for drinks and had a great time. Ended up out in the boonies where we drank a little more before my partner in crime decided it was time to go. She called a cab and it was going to be $100 to get both of us home. She didn't even blink an eye and said "It was well worth it". I still will take her out to lunch for getting me home safe and sound. Saturday, after waking up with NO hangover, we got ready and started our free year Cosco membership. We looked up and down every aisle and saw that we would probably be broke after a few trips there. So we decided that if we do go we will go sparingly. After getting a few things from Walmart we came home to walk the dogs and then spent an evening out together at our favorite place, THE CASINO. Although we didn't win, we still had a great time enjoying each others company. Sunday, the bear and his brother were venturing north to shop. I received a few pics from the bear going through the Disney store to where he was torturing himself and wanting to go to Disneyland. I spent the day watching football and wrestling while putting up our tree. Between plays and talking segments I put up branch after branch. It turned out good like always and after the lights are on it, it will look like a real tree. Oh what a great weekend full of food, fun and great people. Now off to work, is it Friday yet!!

Victories & Frustrations

It seems lately that no matter what I listen to there are key phrases in songs that set me off. What's worse is my brain will switch out certain words in a song to make me bawl even more yesterday driving to work being the most recent event of this happening. It's been almost 3 years since my dad passed away and some days he is all I can think about. The memories I have are in my forefront and are playing like a home movie in my head. Someone told me that it has to be the holidays that are triggering these and I agree since they started around Thanksgiving with the first memory surfacing was our last Thanksgiving together and the first time I really saw my dad cry. The reason I call this post "Victories & Frustrations" is because he was there for all my victories, graduations, swim team, wrestling, my promotions at work and he was there through all my frustrations and hard times, moving from Grandview and away from all my friends, losing my grandpa, the many pets, and arguments with my mom. This last Easter my younger sister had all of our family pictures and was letting us go through them and take what we wanted and I came across one I had never seen. It is a picture of me and my dad walking towards the ocean just talking. My mom must have taken it without our knowledge. This is one of the many victories that I was talking about because all I hear is his voice telling me how proud his is and that out of all his children, I was the first to take that step of self independence. He would tell me that I was the only one who left home and only came back to visit and when I called I wasn't asking to borrow anything. He would say "Bobby, you are the one who made something of yourself and for that I'm so proud of you" god what I wouldn't give to hear that again. The first time he met the bear was a proud moment for me because my dad just excepted him as part of the family. They sat on the front porch of the house and bullshitted. I miss him so much and very lucky to have had such an amazing person as my dad. I love you!!

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

I found myself hitting my snooze on my alarm yesterday for the first time in such a long time. I guess I wasn't completely ready for the weekend to be over. It just dawned on me that there is less than a month before Christmas and I'm looking frantically for a particular item for the bear. So, I'm searching the interweb to find it and have it delivered before Christmas. Although we aren't that materialistic, we do love stuff. The best thing is we are almost done shopping for everyone, we have 2 people left. God, I love shopping for other people.

Ode To The First Four Day Weekend

It started off as a normal Thanksgiving, and ended not so normal. My sister-in-law's mom had bypass surgery on Thanksgiving causing the brother and his family not to have their traditional Thanksgiving with both parents this year. We were swore to silence about the ordeal because the sister wanted some time to clear her thoughts and not to think about something she couldn't change and to keep her mind on something else if not for a little while. Dinner was great like always, but there wasn't as much left overs as there were in the past sad day. That night was babysitting at our apartment (weird I know, and not an invitation for us to watch any other kids). She was well behaved and we just played our video games all night, while everyone was out for Black Friday!! The bear and his brother were out until 3 am, and the brother came back to do it all over again at 6am (crazy bastard). The bear was taking advantage of a trade in deal at Gamestop towards mom's new 3DS (we got to keep her on the latest trends) which ended up only costing under $60. I slept most of Friday, 12 hours to be exact. Before me and the bear made our way out after the kid was gone. We started our tradition by hitting Starbucks, then over to purchase the 3DS. That store was so damn organized this year compared to years past, and we were in and out in moments. We then hit Best Buy where I browsed my shoes (CDs). Nothing really caught my eye except for Kelly's Greatest hits, but I'm not buying an entire album of songs I already have just to get 3 new ones and the always gag-a-fying Christmas song. Don't get me wrong I do love Christmas but I've heard the songs enough to know that traditional is always better than someone's new version. The madness of the mall wasn't as exciting this year, but it has put me in the Christmas spirit, and the shopping spirit. Saturday brought my sister down from Auburn to go shopping and we hit one place WALMART. She hates shopping and having the child she has I can understand why. Unlike the kid we watched Thursday evening, this child is out of control. You can look into his eyes and see evil shit just brewing. You know he's just coming up with something he thinks is clever and hurtful. So we started with lunch, to where the child showed us why I'm glad we don't have children. Then onto wally world, to where we shopped as fast as we could. The kid doesn't like the word no and better yet hates listening to my sister. In fact, my sister would say one thing and does the exact opposite just to spite her. I ignored most of it and thought to myself "It will be all over soon!!" as I know my sister was thinking the same thing. We made our way back to my apartment, we wrapped some presents while sipping on coffee and having a bonding moment before we said our goodbyes. God I love my sister and so happy that she's turned her life around for the better. Sunday found me getting up at 8:30am to find a deposit slip sitting by my cigs. I look and to my surprise it says $400. First thing in my head is how much did he borrow from the parents (which I was hoping nothing since we already owe them $1200). I looked into his wallet and there was not withdraw slip. So I let it sit there for the time being and turned on the football game. The Seahawks were pissing me off and I realized it was time to take the dogs so got them out the door and around the field. When we got back the bear was still sleeping. Which isn't a bad thing, means no voice mocking my love for sports. After the bear woke up he explained to me about his good fortune and laid my fears to rest. Not a bad start to the day until seeing the Seahawks lose, lol not the end of the world. We then ventured out again this time to ToysRus and World Market. For dinner we decided to try Dickey's Barbeque for the first time. It is very good and expensive, but with the bear's good fortune we decided to treat ourselves. It was quite a weekend and now it's back to work to repeat all of this to my co-workers.

I Ask One Thing.......

Remind me next time to never ask questions that will cause me to just instantly hate the day. If I were bugging you excuse the fuck out of me!!

Office is Closed

The office of the cub will be closed for Thanksgiving so feel free to browse all the re runs all you'd like. All have their special Blossom episode types. Here is my first of 3 four day weekends!! CHEERS!!

Three Day Work Week

As Thanksgiving comes closer, 4 days to be exact, I begin to be excited for the holidays. Turkey day starts my excitement with food and family, then it's time to shop for the loved ones. This year, I only have to work three days before Thanksgiving and we are watching our niece while her parents (Santa) go shopping to find those deals. I found out that the shopping on black Friday for them doesn't mean Christmas shopping, but selfish purchasing as well. That is fucking awesome if you ask me, but I'm just glad I'm not going to be stuck in that but like I stated in an earlier post, it's tradition for me and the bear to watch from the sidelines. However, I heard that the bear's brother has recruited him to help in the madness this year leaving me and the little one to play our 3DS until our heart is content. All that aside, Saturday we get to put up our tree for the first time in our new place. It's going to look so good, but where to put it. I have a general idea of where it will go, we just got to make sure it's out of the way. Thanksgiving also starts three four day weekends for me. The other two are Christmas and New Years. Gotta love the holidays.

Expect The Worst

As years have taught me anything is that if you expect the worst in any situation then you are not as disappointed. But when the outcome is the opposite then you have pictured in your head then you are welcomed with a nice surprise. This was the case yesterday, I was invited to a job fair and had selected Diva to accompany me, however with all the things happening at work she was unable to join me. Instead it was suggested to me to invite another and I wasn't too thrilled about it at all. It wasn't I dislike the suggested replacement (in fact I hardly even know her), but more like "what do we talk about". My boss man came in and said "just bond with her". Oh yeah easy for you to say, I don't know what is going to be talked about and even scarier what remarks are going to slip out of my mouth because of something the other person said that rubbed me the wrong way. This was not the case, I left the lodge around 11:10am because I kept forgetting something in my office. I got to the Armory around 11:32am and thought to myself I'm so happy to only be 2 minutes late, but after 2 circles around the place and remembering about the place where I parked when I was there for my job fair that I got hired at, it was already 11:50am. I was so late now, so I lugged what I had brought down the alley way and waited for traffic and was told that our booth was in the back on the right, and to my pleasure there was my co-worker waving at me and all set up. I was so damn impressed and at that moment realized this wasn't going to be bad at all. And my bosses voice "just bond with her" rang out and put a smile on my face. He does know what he's talking about. Between the visits from the interested participants looking for work or just free stuff, we chatted and got to know one another. I realized that she is a very well spoken person who just has the thirst for knowledge, instant friend right there. As the event came to a close, she gave me a hug and said it was fun and that we need to do it again. I agreed and packed up what we had left and I headed to the lodge to submit my expense report and drop off all the business cards I acquired. As I was getting ready for my beer date after, I received a text from my friend saying he had to cancel, and a text from the bear saying we received our deposit check from the other apartment. I was somewhat bummed because I was really looking forward in having a drink with my friend, but happy about being done with the other apartments. I'm glad the weekend is here so I can relax and then it dawned on me that we only have a 3 day work week next week which makes me a happy cubby.

Hard Decision

I've been struggling for awhile now about letting a friendship die. Basically due to it's been a one sided thing for along time. The person is just a flake without really knowing it. They don't mean any harm and I know this but it's frustrating to have a conversation with yourself and not being told in advance of changes to where you're not wasting your time. I don't wish any harm to the person, but nothing but happiness for their future. However, there is no place for me in that said future. So good bye to you and may your life be surrounded by those who truly love and appreciate you.

Is It For Real

I could understand how other countries look at us with disgust. We have an entire day (that is spreading to a holiday) devoted to shopping and getting deals. The same event that was so unorganized a few years back that people were trampled upon because of crowds. The fucked up part about that is, here is a person dying on the ground and no one really gave 2 shits, they just continued to shop for deals and fight amongst themselves. Black Friday has always been around since I can remember, but I don't remember it ruining Thanksgiving. Now that I'm an adult, it's more of a spectators sport to watch as these people claw and scratch their way to the front of 2 hour lines with the "amazing" deals they just had to have the day after stuffing themselves. Oh wait, I forgot, this year it starts on Thanksgiving. Just like last year, the employees are getting hosed, however I remember having to work on the holidays for many years so I don't feel too bad for them. We all have jobs and I'm fortunate enough to have one now that allows me to enjoy the holidays. Last year, I worked at least 2 holidays when I was in finance, but now I'm in HR, which will be closed. What is even better is that I get Black Friday off so the bear and I can enjoy our tradition of going to Starbucks and getting our peppermint mochas and wonder around the mall watching the hoards of people shop shop shop. I can understand the whole making the customer happy, but why ruin Thanksgiving? Instead of blaming the retail establishments, why not take a look at the demanding people who made this possible by saying "Oh I wish I could leave my family and shop at 8pm on Thanksgiving evening." Really???? You'd rather shop than spend another moment listening to the same old stories, and the trickery of leaving the clean up to the kids. Although we may seem selfish and what not, I'm still glad to be an American, so the opinions of other countries don't bother me. It's just who we are, and as the years go by we aren't going to change anytime soon.

Now It's Legal.....Well Almost

So Washington wanted the legalization of marijuana and the voters got their way. It passed on state level, however they have a huge hurdle in their way.....THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!! Unsurprised to me, I had three individuals asking about this new passing law. I simply told them that they can't SMOKE. We still test for it and you will still be fired for smoking it. Until it is okay'd by the FED then it's still considered illegal to us. These three were somewhat smart enough to ask but what about those who were stupid enough to run out bought from their dealer (which this law is supposed to eliminate the whole dealer) and smoked until rendered retarded. My partner in crime said it best "I'm moving out of this fucking state!!" Yes, I did like to smoke it at one time, but it's been almost 5 years since I touched the stuff and some part of me misses it, but I would never jeopardize my job for it. Until it's federally approved, it is banned from our house and from my person.

On a positive note, gays are free to get married here in Washington. Imagine a world of man and wife, wife and wife, man and man unions. It's crazy how times have changed from when I was growing up to today. Granted, I didn't have the hatred that most people had growing up, but we were still taught the wrong message back then. With the marriage now changed to the union of human beings, I'm happy to say we are all equal now. Does this mean the parades can go away now? The celebration of traffic can stop? Nope, because of all the hatred in the world that still exists and the point of views that still occupy all our minds. Don't get me wrong, I do like gay pride however we wanted equality so where is the straight pride days? Oh that's right, it's called Octoberfest LOL just kidding.

Relaxed and Ready

What a great weekend of nothing to do but enjoy our new home. We are officially down to 2 boxes which are full of wall decorations. Since the bear is the tallest, he gets the task of hanging them up. Saturday, we spent the whole day just lounging around, me on the computer playing Bejeweled and him exploring our channel line-up. Besides the walks with the dogs, we just pretty much stayed inside. Yesterday, he decided to go shopping with his brother, while I was responsible to empty a few more of the boxes and set up the nick-knacks since I'm the shortest it was easier for me. Oh, Saturday also reminded us on how different the two places were. Where as Courtside is full of white trash scum who would rather scream at each other, our downstairs neighbors here at Woodland came up to introduce themselves and exchange numbers in case anything like noise was a problem. They were a young couple and very respectable. So weird and a difference it is moving across the street. So back to Sunday, as I watched football and unpacking boxes, I looked around and sighed to myself on how happy and amazing it is to be in such a nice place. Now it's Monday and I'm ready to head back to work and be productive.

Innocent Bystander

Many of you know that I'm not so innocent, however I do find myself in the middle. I'm a friend when a friend is needed and yesterday was no exception. My diva was having an emotional day being it her mom's birthday. I wanted to console her and so I did. I listened to her as she told me her woes. Although I may have given a little advice, I really was there to listen. At lunch, a mutual friend of the Diva and mine consoled to us her woes. I agreed to much of the issues stated, however I just listened. I would never reveal anything discussed nor would I blab it around to others who weren't involved with the discussion. Those who truly know me, know that I don't gossip or go around saying shit that was told to me in confidence. I really like to think that I'm better than that. You all have my love and I hope that in the future things go as you feel that they should. Just remember that the bumps in life are just that and not mountains.

Day Off As If

It was a very busy day today getting the crack apartment cleaned and ready for our walk through. We started at 11:30am and got done at 5:30pm. That place is cleaner than I've seen it besides when we first moved in. We will be getting some money back, but the walk through was never done due to the office being closed at 4 for a meeting. I call BULL SHIT, but whatever. That was the last time I have to go to that apartment and I couldn't be happier. However, since the parents still live there we will have to visit especially since we owe $1200 for our car repair, lol a small price to pay to see the happy couple. Back to work tomorrow.

The Move

SUCCESS!!!! We were able to get everything moved in 4 hours. I feel very accomplished, and after it was all said and done I was pooped. None the less, it is over and I'm sore this morning for sure, but so worth it. Thanks to the bear's brother and family for helping. Now it's the fun part of moving, finding a place for everything. Granted, I already have some ideas where things should go and I already unpacked a few things, but we still have lots of boxes to go. Back to work today.

Tests

I believe that everything that happens in life is a test of all our strengths and weaknesses. I'm no different, just 3 days before our move, our car decides to go down for the count leaking profusely. If it weren't for our mom and dad we would be screwed, so a huge thanks goes out to them. We took the car to be looked at and the cause of our problem is a cracked something something, I'm mechanically retarded when it comes this stuff. The final cost with parts, labor, and whatever else is $1200.00. On top of that, since every penny counts now, I can't miss work so we decided to rent a car for a few days to help. Plus, we need a car for the move so it just made sense. Thanks to the bear for coming up with that one and for the brother for helping us out with this. The bear expects me to be the level headed one all the time, and sure I can oblige most the time, but this has totally freaked me out. Granted I'm way better now and all I have to do is some juggling with finances, but I want to be moved before I even attempt to figure this out. I'm not stressed like he is and nor will I be. I am an optimist when it comes to these sort of things. But after hearing him go off yesterday has done a number on me which freaked him out more. I ask him what I can say to make it better, of course there is nothing that can make it better except for getting everything paid off. But that takes time and we have nothing but time right now. I could tell him not to stress or freak out but that won't work, it never does. All I can do is tell him that it will be alright and that I will juggle the finances around to make this work. It's hard to be human and the level headed one all the time. I do need my time to freak the fuck out so I can get it all out of my system and go back to being the optimist that makes me ME.

Revelation

As we count the day (3 to be exact) before our move, it's clear to me that this has to happen. Since the bear has expressed his dislike for the place we are in now, I've been witness to the most white trash living since I lived in the trailer park in Hermiston, Or. So many crazy people surround us as neighbors and when we first moved here I was blinded by it all. Since I work all day, I'm not around to see first hand how crazy and trashy these people really are. I understand the whole concept of being poor and living on welfare and needing living assistance. But do you really have to live like you are on it? I mean, poorly behaved children running a muck around the complex. People up at all hours of the day talking about their parole hearings, child support payments, and god knows what else. It's really sickening to me that not only did we subject ourselves to this place, but we are associated with it all for just living here. Again, I was blind to it all until this last summer when the bear pointed out a few things and my eyes opened widely to everything around us. From the scum living a building across from us, to the crazy dog walking lady that talks to herself. The saying "we all have to live somewhere" has never been so true. Since we didn't have the luxury of searching, we took what we knew, and even getting in here was a pain in the ass. That right there should have sent up red flags that we deserved better. However, now that the days are closing on this chapter in our lives, I can look back with no regrets just the happy thoughts knowing that we do deserve better and now we can say we have better.

It's Getting Better

As I continue with my growth, it seems to me that everything is getting better and better with every passing day. I'm getting the crowd roaring with laughter and getting them to open up and ask questions regarding what it is I'm showing them on the screen. I am a ham when it comes to things and I'm not near as nervous as I was when I first took over the class. I really do love what I do now. In other news, our move grows closer and closer (4 days to be exact) and we are back to square one when it comes to changing the address. We were insured by our new place that we don't need to include a box number to our address just the apartment number so now we have to change everything that we changed already. Luckily as I went through the ones I've changed it's just been the apartment number. Who knew it was going to be this frustrating, however the only frustrating part is how much more we are making of it. Especially when one of us is a huge worry wart. Love him as I do, he get overly worked up over nothing. The closer we get to this move the more he goes crazy.

Clean and Pack

Counting down the days for it's almost here. Pack this and pack that, wipe this down dust that off. I never realized how dusty an apartment can get until you are moving something that hasn't been touched in 4 years. Shredded useless documents from years past, and threw away stupid random pieces of paper and manuals on things that we don't have any more. Why the hell do we keep this shit for?

And Now For The Show

What a busy week it has been. Nothing too stressful but very busy for all parties involved. I'm so glad that it's the weekend that I can shake off the burdens of the work week and relax. Even though it's going to be a busy weekend, only one major thing that needs to be done and that is to sign our lease. Then after that it's only 8 short days before moving day. I just can't wait until we are moved in and able to enjoy our new digs. Yes I said digs lmao. When I came home last night (and I use that term loosely) our neighbor was standing outside putting on a show for the whole complex to see, and I was so close to getting back into the car and driving around the block a few more times just so I didn't have to see the shit. I also think to myself poor bear having to put up with this shit on a daily basis. But then it dawned on me that we only have a few short days left of this fucking hell hole. People piss me off.

Yet Again

We've all had our funks and it takes it's toll on us all. The Diva was the latest victim in this epidemic. It's an unexplainable event that just takes over us and puts us into this mood that we can't shake. It just goes away, but for some people it hangs around for awhile. Mine lasted a fucking week and nothing helped. Although I'm better, the effect of it has tarnished others. I'm not saying that I'm to blame for others moods, I know that others effect me when they do nothing but be negative all the time. It's really a combination of things that set it off. I suppose having a some kind of release would have done the trick, like a night of drinking, or the one thing that I can't touch anymore. If we were in Cali, our release would be walking the park to soak in the happiness that fills us each time we go. Maybe a healthy walk around the block with the dogs and good music in my ears. It sure helped yesterday, and to be getting back into my exercise routine has made me a better person for sure.

As The Old Saying Goes

As the storms rolled in, the weekend rolled on. It was another relaxing weekend with not much to do about nothing. We just sat here dreaming and talking about what it would be like down in Cali and how we are excited that we will be in our new place soon. How nice will be not having to deal with all the crack heads that are here in this ghetto. We watched movies and just stayed cozy inside. The one movie that surprised me the most was called "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the Elderly & Beautiful". It starred all British actors one being Maggie Smith and the other Judi Dench. It was a nice sweet funny movie. Sunday I watched most of the Seahawks game to the dismay of the bear. "I can't wait to have two tvs" I heard him mutter. He kept himself busy doing his house chores. Coming out of the casino from getting our freebies we over heard two guys talking about the game and the bear just cringed. We get into the car and he just goes off about how he just doesn't understand sports fans. I think it's funny because he can't escape it. It also turns out I missed the best part of the game due to our running around. Oh well, he'll get over it until next weekend.

Nothing to Say

When the weekend is dull but relaxing there isn't much to report on anything. I can say that I'm getting real excited about our move in a few weeks. Oh good it feels to actually say weeks instead of months. Work is going real good so far just a few hitches but nothing I can't handle. The fact that I love what I do is keeping me focused on my final transformation and the last effort to grab that gold ring. I already have the brass and the silver and my goals are being achieved one by one. The knowledge that I've been given is amazing. Today we have some plans of running around a little bit but not sure if we will actually follow through since it's so crappy outside. Tomorrow is a fresh new week but it can hold off for a little while longer.

What a Week

The week is coming to a close and the weekend couldn't have come fast enough. It's hiring season again now that slowtember is done and gone. With all the recent developments in ER (HR) I will be busy for the next couple of weeks lighting fires under people to get their departments filled once more.But for this weekend I'm doing nothing but relaxing with the bear. No work talk, no mentioning of anything. We are going over to our new place to speak with the office to see how soon we can move in since this is our last month here. Packing and getting things ready for the move has been easy and since we aren't going far, the hardest thing is moving everything up three flights of stairs. I think it will be okay.

Hourly vs Salary

Us hourly peeps have our advantages when it comes to getting paid. For one, we are still eligible for overtime. For two, we are not always on the clock. On the flip side of things, salary people don't have to worry about their hours. Keeping a hawk eye on how close we are on overtime or rather getting our full 80 hours is annoying. To know that you have a set 80 hrs as a salaried employee is nice and to know that when your work is done you are done. Although the overtime is nice, I'd rather get a couple dollar raise in pay and just get put on salary to where I don't have to worry about the whole "Am I going over or am I getting shorted on hours" thing. Oh and February couldn't get here fast enough for me, I would love for my vaca to be refilled. To be getting 120 hours of vacation sounds nice right about now.

Are You Serious

Yesterday was just another normal day in the land of HR (ER) busy busy busy. The fallout from Monday was soon to catch up however. As I was driving to Walmart after work to pick up a new leash for one of our dogs I missed a call from my sister. When I listened to the message it said controversy. I was very intrigued because Sunday I had told her about our mom moving to this side of the mountains but to my dismay it was to do with my work place. I wasn't too shocked that the incident had made the news but so damn quickly. So when I came home sure enough I got there just in time for them to report it on the news that the bear was watching. This is what happens when the media has access to the police reports and they decide to dig into something that may or may not be a story. The last time we had this kind of press was with that one guy calling people. Oh well, shit happens right.

Joss Whedon

This dude knows how to entertain me. After watching the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer starring Kristy Swanson, I never had any interest in the tv series. Thinking to myself, this is going to be stupid. Well I was introduced to the tv series through a friend who was watching it at his house. I was really into it not knowing what it was and when he told me I was floored. Since then I was hooked on Joss and did some research and found some interesting tidbits about the writer/creator. Not only did he actually write the original Buffy movie, he's been around since 1989 writing for Roseanne. The reasoning behind this was first watching the Avengers and how pleased I was with how it turned out. But last night we watched Cabin in the Woods, and holy crap. It was so Joss Whedon from beginning to end. Oh and the fact that the jock was Thor, and the slut was a Power Ranger makes it even crazier. So they need to do another Degrees of Separation with Joss this time instead of Kevin Bacon, because it seems that he has his hands in the talent pool.

Sick!!

So they say that men are the biggest babies when they are sick, and this is so true. So when you're a gay couple it's twice as worse. Two grown babies getting sick at the same time sux, but luckily the bear hasn't gotten sick (yet). Thanks to the type of work I do, I'm the main target for illnesses. And wouldn't you know it, I got a cold. It has been trying to get me for over a week now and Friday was it's day to shine. It has invaded my body and now is loving the fact that it's kicking my ass right now. Thank god for cold meds and sleep. I left work yesterday at noon came home and slept for 5 hours. On a good note, I finally watched the Avengers and I was pleasantly thrilled. It was such a great movie and they nailed all the characters on the head with the people they chose to play them. I'm excited to see what is next.

Friday, Payday, and It's Gone

The bills are paid and I am stoked on our money situation right now. I'm so proud to say that we are doing pretty damn well for now. If we continue, we'll just be sitting pretty in our new place with no fear of the gambling bug due to limited funds (at least that is what I'm telling the bear). After doing a few month budget it appears that we have more money then originally thought. Which means by the time tax return comes we may be able to head down to Disneyland. But hush hush, since I don't know this for sure. Friday is finally here and this week has done a number on me. For some odd reason I haven't felt like myself due to unknown reasons, and due to medical reasons I have to do the weight loss thing again. To me it's cake because I have the restraint to do what needs to be done. As far as my annoyance levels they have been taking a toll on me. It seems that every little thing is bugging the fuck out of me and I just can't shut it off. So today to make it easy on myself, I'm staying in my office listening to some music and finding my peace. I need to get back to rebuilding the wall that has been chipped down. The worst part is I know what started it and confronting said person would just be futile. So fuck it, I'm just going to take care of it and be my old self. Have a great weekend and stuff!!

Negative Nancy

No one knows how someone's attitude really affects those around them more than I do. I was once a very negative and miserable person and tried my best to keep it bottled inside. When it started to get too much and my body language started to paint a different picture, that's when I realized that my bad mood was starting to come out. You can honestly only hold it in for so long before you start making those around you as miserable as you are. I'm not usually the one who would let my opinion persuade anyone to think the way I do. It's not fair to that person and from personal experience it's nice to let people figure shit out for themselves. I don't need to be that voice to say, "Hey, stay away from so and so because they are a fucking bitch," nor am I the person who really listens to others opinions. I am a big boy and can make my own decisions on who I associate with, but I'm not stupid and I know my audience. I learned that lesson years ago. So the same goes with others opinions about our work place or any other things that people may disagree with me on, like wrestling, Disneyland. I mention my work place because for one I love what I do and I love where I work, but for awhile I had my hatred but not for the place I work or what I did but for the people I worked with. Last night after orientation, I heard people bad mouth my work place. That is their opinion and something happened to them to where they feel the way that they do. I felt like saying  "I'm sorry you feel that way and I hope that you find something that won't make you feel so miserable". I decided not to say anything because like I said there is no changing any ones point of view once it's sunk into their brain. Instead, I told them to have a good night and finished my work and went home. In some way I feel sorry for them, but in another way I don't. I refused to give into their negativity and just let them be miserable. What else can one do?

Weight

So it has finally happened, I have to drop at least 20 pounds. I haven't felt this uncomfortable in my own skin since the last time I weighed this much. The great thing is I know what I need to do. The hard part is actually doing it. I will have the will power and I will make the change. I'm thankful for all those who told me that I'm fine, but lately I haven't felt fine. It's not about appearance, because it's not a popularity contest to me. I have to do this for health reasons and I don't want to have health issues when I reach 50. So that being said, I'm marking it down so I can look back on this and say "I stuck to my word". Oh salads how I've missed you.......NOT!!

Just Another Weekend

As time dwindles down before I must return to work, I reflect on all the football I watched this weekend, god did I feel like a man. So many college games so little time, plus seeing the Seahawks lose was the worst, but not surprising lol. Anyway, other than that we did our running around and got stuff to eat so now we won't go hungry. Today marks one month before we pack up from this shit hole and move across the street to our new apartment. I'm super excited to pay our last month here and get started. Off to work.

So Many Games

The bear and his brother left yesterday leaving me with my own laziness. I spent 8 hours watching college football. So many games so little time, but I did get to watch some good ones. Now if only every weekend could be like this I would be a happy Cub. Soon, when we move to our new place where we will have two tvs lol. One more month!

Trust and Opportunity

Yesterday morning, I walked into my office to see an opening for me to post that at first had my name all over it. With out hesitation I post the job and then applied for it. The bad part is that I didn't think it through for I was blinded by this bright shiny star that laid before me. I even went as far as to talk to the one who posted the position after talking to my bosses first of course. As the day progressed and the more I thought about it and with the little hazing I received from heffe and Diva, it dawned on me that I had only been in my position for such a short time and didn't really give the whole idea very much thought. Even though my bosses would never want to hold me back, I realized that I really didn't want to leave them and where I was especially since Diva fought to get me. So I rejected my application and came back to earth. I regret my decision, it just came at a bad time, and quite frankly I'm just not going to abandon my HR team. So I'm staying put and hopefully I didn't ruin any trust that they had in me, I guess I'll find out today. Last night I had a dream about the person who posted the position, which like all my dreams turned very weird very fast. First she was telling me that she wasn't able to sleep with out a mask, which is just odd for I don't think she sleeps EVER. Then a little later as we laid in separate beds, she turned to me and said we should finish off the specialty drinks she had made. WTF? It could have been influenced by the vodka lemonade that I was drinking last night, which btw is very tasty and I recommend it to anyone. So here is to the weekend and being grounded by my anchors.

Tired zzzzzzz

After working a 12 hour shift on Tuesday, I was so tired come the next day. The original plan was for me to come in late on Wednesday however my body decided it wanted to get up at 4:30am. I went in at 9am and got all my work done, so come 1pm I was so pooped. Honestly, I shouldn't have been driving but how else was I going to get home. It reminded me of the time we drove back from Vegas without sleep, that was a scary ass experience. Now that I'm rested and ready to start a new, let's just hope that we can finish off the week great.

Business As Usual

Yesterday was a very productive and busy day. After a week of casual dress and 6 hr days, it's back to business as usual. It was nice to have the team back in full swing, and the Heffe brought back great news from Madison. The lodge in Cali is a go!! I'm super excited to watch this develop and finally get built after a year of excitement and anticipation. During lunch, we shared our weekends, and like always mine was the least exciting, but that's how I like it. My mind was still on the good news lol. I got my hands full today with a huge orientation gathering (that's if everyone shows). I'm estimating 15 people, my biggest yet. Today is going to be a long day. I'm very happy with how my job is going and learning new things, so the next chapter is to learn some Spanish. Then I would like to learn Cali laws. I think being where I'm at is the right direction for my career. I finally watched a Monday night game last night with the mockery that the bear could bring as well. The Hawks won, but not without controversy due to the stupid refs that replaced the ones on strike. It reminded me of their Superbowl and how many calls were made during that game. This time it was in their favor. Our shows premiered last night and they are starting of with a bang, however I foresee one new one not lasting too long. It's kind of annoying and not that funny. Well this dog is surrounding me like a buzzard and acting a fool (that's right I said it, I'm hip). Oh yeah this week also finds me without my partner in crime with means I'm going to be smoking solo. I hope she enjoys Chicago!!

Already?

Well this weekend is gone, but it brings with it good news. Our shows are back on tonight YAY!! Which means we are going to become couch potatoes once more. Oh wait, that really never changed. If I wasn't so busy at work, I would probably call in DEAD. But since that never works, I'll put my big boy britches on and face the day. SIGH!!

Busy Busy Busy

Yesterday was very busy with all the peeps that aquatics hired over shutdown and the weekend before. Looks like a huge group for sure. Now the weekend is here and still busy with our running around getting odds and ends for the house. I got up this morning at 5, which isn't bad since I've been getting up at 4 the entire week of shutdown. Since this weekend isn't going to be that eventful I'm going to enjoy a nice quiet evening in my headphones listening to all the new music I've purchased this year.

No Bosses

Today tiny and I are without Authority, which means I'm in charge of our department. We are only opened for a few hours today, we still have lots to do. There is filing for tiny and status change reports for me to fill out, plus we have a gaggle (yes I said gaggle) of new lifeguards coming in to do drug screens and back ground paper work. We will be busy, so busy that we won't even notice that our bosses are absent. It's going to be a great day. They put their trust in us and we won't let them down. Enjoy your time off Diva, and here's to a quick Doc visit. In other news, I had a great night even though I went to bed early. I wanted so much to go have a beer and the one day that I'm invited to go is the day I have to be home early for the bear to have the car. Oh well, there will be other times I'm sure. I'm hoping that tonight will be one of those times lol. The month of new music rolls on for this music whore, as I purchased 4 out of the 6 new albums that I've been craving. First was Alanis, and like the previous it's pretty good. Next was one of my favorites, Matchbox Twenty. They are always great in my eyes and this one was no exception. And then I got two in one visit, P!nk and The Killers, so far I'm liking what I'm hearing from both albums. P!nk like always sounds a bit angry yet ready to rock while The Killers are a little more laid back this time around. The best thing is I already have my faves from each album. The next two are released this coming Tuesday being Mumford & Son's second album and Weezer. I think I have enough albums to start my own radio station. Now if only Third Eye Blind and Lifehouse would release new stuff my world would be complete for now. Well TGIF everyone, have a wonderful weekend!!

It's Thursday Already

I'm not one to brag, but this has been one productive week. Shutdown has benefited all of us with getting stuff taken care of and being conscious of our hours and what not, and being able to leave early is a plus. Sucks for the check but hell I won't be hurting at all so I'm good. This week has been full of revelations understandings and bonding between the Diva and I. We've laughed, we've cried (not really), and we've judged others relentlessly, because we can. Friday leaves tiny and I opening HR (ER) alone where we will be getting about 6 new peeps getting their stuff filled out, and what ever else may come. I'm excited for the weekend because it means I'm not doing anything as of yet and those are the best days. If we feel like doing anything on the fly it's all up to us.

In The Midst

I'm not saying that I don't deserve any success, but I must stay humble about it all. I really would like to thank everyone who's helped me get to where I'm at in life and for helping me see the bigger picture. We really do have big dreams and boy would I love to achieve them. I'm super excited about having some slow time this next week, going into shutdown will be great. It's going to give a lot of people the much needed R & R they deserve. Since my boss man is going to be in Madison all week, we are left to our own devices, which is just going to be some much needed clean up. Organizing this, dead filing that, some clean up from the past that may finally relinquish the chains and tarnished rep that the department has gotten once and for all. The weekend was so relaxing that I don't know how I got out of bed this morning but I succeeded lol. So here's to another start to a great relaxing week.

Seminar

Yesterday, me and a co-worker that I'll dub as tiny, went to an HR seminar to get some insight on how HR law works. I didn't have much hope for it, but put my skepticism aside. To my surprise, it was actually a great training and the speaker was very good. She is from Arkansas and her field of work is strictly HR Law. She is very knowledgeable, friendly, and a great speaker. Oh and did I mention funny, yes she had us cracking up with her mannerisms and the stories she told from working with the Walmart Corp. I did enjoy the seminar and to spend some time with tiny was good also.  We ate lunch at the Spar, where our waitress was the best I'd ever had. The food was good but my favorite thing was the coffee. After all was said and done, I had a great day.

It's Going To Be Ok

I hear this saying a lot, "It's going to be okay". I wish I could believe this to be true, and parts of me DO believe this. However last night my brain just decided to send images and I just started to cry out of blue. This made the bear think that there is just something mentally wrong with me. It's hard for me to talk to him about this which makes it worse, but I finally broke down and told him what was going on in my head and he understood. I really hate talking about the images that flash before my eyes. They are just so damn hard to take sometimes. The fact that I can just go from happy to sad in a blink of an eye disturbs me. I try really hard to bottle up all emotion but it gets hard to take sometimes and the bottle breaks wide open. I know it's not healthy to keep shoving my emotions down, but I don't want to be a wreck either. I know that I don't have to deal with this alone, and I really should talk more openly so I'm not a wreck. I just hate it.

And Another

This weekend was very uneventful, just the way I like it. We watched Tim Burton's Sweeny Todd, which was very gory and a good movie. The bear says it was pretty accurate to the play. Now I want to see Angela Landsbury play the wacko Ms. Lovetts lol. The rest of the weekend I spent surfing the web and just relaxing. Now to start another week of work.

Finally Secured

After our last payment today, we will have paid our final security deposit. Then it's time to save our move in money, to which I will have to them by the end of the month. All we have to do now is sit and wait until the lease from hell is over. Granted, it hasn't been all that bad, we got a place to live after getting kicked out of Toledo, hurt feelings aside it was the kick we needed. I haven't had to spend half the time as the bear has dealing with all the crack heads that live here. But I've experienced enough to know that we deserved so much better. It's going to be expensive but I know what needs to happen for us to be financially secured. I have no doubts that we will be fine in our new place. In fact, I'm super excited and leaving the worrying to the bear since he's so damn good at it.

# 2

For weeks now, I've been feeling great about where my future is headed. I just can't believe what a change. But there is still dark clouds looming as I sit back and watch shit flow from my former department. I shouldn't be surprised at anything that is said or the crap that is done. But I really am. The foundation is really shaken and I don't think it can be repaired at this point in time due to uncaring people working there. I've moved on from the drama but it's still surrounding me from the reports that I'm given from my partner in crime. I feel bad that she has to deal with such disrespect and negativity. When I was sitting next to her it seemed that she didn't always have to vacate the office, but now that an equally as annoying and uncaring person (more like self centered) has taken my place, it's hard for her to concentrate and stay focused. I hate seeing her so upset and hating that which she loves. I keep telling her it will be better but at this point all it sounds like is shit coming from my mouth since there isn't any real sign of things getting better yet they are getting much worse. I want to tell her to hang in there and not let it bother her as much, speak her mind but in a more tactful manner, but she's really not one to back down from anything and it bothers me because she's so damn intelligent. If she only knew how smart she really was and not to be so damn hard on herself. She would probably be able to tolerate the stupidity that has surrounded her. But she is like me, which is very scarey, to where she can't except the stupid any longer. However, I will still be there for her and I hope that she knows this.

Back To The Salt Mines

Btw, so not comparing my work with any hard working laborer, it's a figure of speech that the bear came up with (I think). Anywho, it's time to go back and face reality once more. As I loved the whole I'm retired and don't have to work lifestyle, alas I'm only 34 and far from retirement. Plus, now I have to work hard to pay for all the expensive things we bought, like the sectional (which is amazing btw, so damn comfy). After a great 5 days off, it's going to be hard to return, but I must.

One More Day

As my five days wind down to a close, I just want to say I had a great time off. Back at it tomorrow with a few things to catch up on but with the support that I have, I already know that I'm not coming back to a nightmare. The football game was awesome and spending time with my sister and mom was just great to say the least. I sure do love them a lot. I hope that we can do it again soon. It's nice to have a sibling so close. Football season is right around the corner too so I'm hoping that we can spend the Sundays watching it together, I just hope that she can come down here to see my new place as soon as we move in, which is only 2 months away now. So happy to finally be able to leave this hell hole behind us. Some people may call us crazy for paying as much as we are for the new place, but it's really a test for us to see if we can actually afford living down in Cali, and I say to them let us be. So what if we are crazy, we are going to be happy crazy people, lmao!! Happy Monday everyone!!

OMG It Was Great

I had such a great time last night with my mom sister and her boyfriend. It was an experience to say the least. Never thought I'd ever see a Seahawk game in my life but there I was, in the nosebleed section and enjoying every minute of it. Thank you so much mom love you!!

Tonight's The Night

After spending a great night with my sister, mom and bear we are ready to invade Century Link Field. I'm super excited but still have a little time to wait for some football. I will be heading over to Best Buy to pick up a CD and then over to the Red Wind to cash in a freebie. After that it's to Auburn once again to spend some time with my mom and wait for the sister to get off of work and head to Seattle. I so excited that words can't explain.

It's Here

Today marks the arrival of our wonderful new sectional. I'm so happy and are hoping that the day flies by so I can come home and enjoy it before we rush off to Auburn to have dinner with my mommy and sister. I'm super excited to actually be able to afford new things. The next big thing is our move to our new apartment. Then it's all up hill from here.

A New Sectional

The bear and I had big plans today, first trading in my regular 3ds for the XL version while they had a sale going, trade in the original receive  a $100 towards the purchase of the XL. Plus, we had games to trade in so it made the purchase a whopping $45. Can't beat that when the system is selling for $199. I feel like I stole it lol. Well we started to talk about getting a new couch a while ago and decided that tonight we would browse the stores on our way to dinner. We originally had a couch in mind from Big Lots, but I suggested that we see what they wanted at the Rack. A few minutes around the store and we were unimpressed with their pricing. So we ate and Russ suggested we go and look at the furniture store by Shopko. Not expecting much we browsed and were like wow these are nice but expensive, and then I saw that the price actually included the love seat as well. We were greeted by Dusty Kindred (I know a porn name if I had ever heard one) who asked if we had any questions blah blah blah, the normal sales stuff. We told him we were just browsing. Then I found my couch, it was freaking nice and very reasonably priced $550 after tax and this included the love seat. Dusty made his way over to us just knowing he just made a sale. We decided to see if we could get credit, and after filling out all the papers and him doing his computer thing we were approved. I had never been approved before and that was awesome in it's own right, but we were approved for $2400. WTF, after the Bear heard this something caught his eye and walked away for a minute and then came back and said how about we get a sectional instead which was actually part of their No Tax event they were having for Labor day. I went and took a look and I was in love, and instead of picking it up ourselves we are having it delivered even better. So we finalized the sale and got all the paper work done, we walked out of the store as if we were floating on Cloud 9. After we finished our running around, came home and fired up the 3DS XL and got it all set up, and let me just say the screen is amazing. I can actually enjoy playing games on it now. Oh and watching Netflix. The interweb is a little on the annoying side but hell who cares. I can see things now lol.

I Stopped Awhile Ago

When I was younger in middle school, I had this overwhelming feeling of trying to please everyone and needed everyone to like me. So I made up story after story to just fit. My most notorious one is me telling everyone I was related to Hitler. I didn't say they were the best of stories, I was only in middle school. However as time progressed my family moved around towards the end of my schooling and I just gave up making friends because I didn't know if I was going to have them the next year or not. Still, I felt awkward and didn't know why and for the ones who would listen, I kept on telling those stories. It wouldn't be until I came out when the stories would stop. My guess is my inner personality was making up lies to cover up what was truly going on inside. The realization of everyone not liking me came when I was in job corps and it bugged me still. I didn't know why at the time but I hated the fact that there was still something wrong with me to where one or more person didn't want anything to do with me. After graduation, I started to not care as much since I was going into my adult years and the petty shit was beginning to fade. I said to myself that I can still be genuinely kind and nice to everyone but I don't expect the same back to me. I really started to not care either way if someone liked me, because if they did then I have a friend for life, if they didn't I wouldn't spend too much emotion on something that will never be. At this moment, I started to find the real me. A sarcastic, loveable, sometimes immature, and caring person. I stopped pretending who I wasn't and started being me. It took a long road and self reflection to get to this point and believe me when I say, I enjoyed the ride but I will not repeat it.

After All These Years

Growing up, you have needs that only your parents can provide for you. As you become an adult the tables begin to shift, and it is your turn to provide the same love and attention to your own children. But what if the children aren't really children but those same parents that raised you. In a jokingly way, as technology becomes a little too much for those who were never savvy in the world of "high tech gadgets" you come to the rescue on many occasions to help the ones who seemed to have all the answers. I remember being about 12 or so and seeing my parents as the holy grail of knowledge. They knew the world like the back side of their hand, and little did I know that world was so damn small and just a speck of what I'd be experiencing later in life. Although my illusions were shattered, I still see them from my wide-eyed 12 year old kid eyes. Oh and yes, I got your ticket mailed to you Mom, LOVE YOU!!

It's Over

Well a good friend is calling it quits, and I couldn't be more happier for him. He hasn't been happy for a long time and it's time for him to shit or get off. Well he finally took the leap and granted it may not seem like the best move, it is for him and I respect that. So here's to you my friend and may this one work out better than the last!!

The Perfect Gift

Yesterday as we were shopping for our couch, I wondered the store to see what other godly things they were selling for home decor and came upon the perfect gift for the diva. She's going to absolutely love this. I can't wait to give it to her today.

Dream: Moving Day

In my dream last night, me and a few co-workers were hanging out downtown Olympia (a much more modern, cleaned up Olympia). We were going from shop to shop just having a good time. We then decided to go see the new place that the bear and I will be moving into in 2 1/2 months. The outside was blue and chipped paint, with the numbers of the building all crooked and ready to fall off. I was so excited despite the outside appearance. As we walk in Derek Kinzel was there to greet us by showing what he had been cooking in the kitchen of our place and was excited that I was moving in. I guess I didn't think anything of this because I just continued showing my peeps around. The inside of the place was HUGE, like mansion huge. A massive living room, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and the weirdest part of all BAT POLES.......yes BAT POLES!! It was just a weird dream and god I loved it.

Thought of the Day

I don't remember the last time that I've felt so good about what I do. I'm a happier person on a daily basis now that I can't stand it. I've been working so hard for so long in one place that I never thought I'd be happy again, just doing the same thing every day with no reward. Now, I've been given a new release on life. Granted it's almost been 2 months since I've switched over to my new position but I've accomplished so much and even met all my goals. I now have new goals in place, which will take me a little longer to achieve but I will achieve them like I did all the other ones. I guess the universe is in line for me "knock on wood". On a personal level, the bear has seen the happier me and loves it. He's so happy that I'm not coming home all pissed because of something. To be honest, I was tired of it myself hence why I made the change. Now it's only 2 1/2 months before we move to our new place and away from the craziness of this apartment complex. Boy is it time for us to move. Since we've paid our first deposit, a crazy bitch across the way decided that her apartment needed to be burned down, so she set it on fire. I worked 13 hours that day and that is what I came home too, fucking great right? Our neighbors (downstairs and upstairs) have become best friends it seems and OMG are they the poster children of pure white trash. To hear them scream (not talk but scream) to one another is just ear shattering and disturbing. I guess I never really paid that much attention since I have a place to go on a daily basis and don't have to be around all the crazy people, but ever since the bear pointed out all the trash, that's all I see now. Kinda fucked up if you ask me and I guess this is what they truly mean by ignorance is bliss. The lodge down in Cali is finally seeing potential again, and the California Dream is becoming reality once again. The only thing now is the hope of a transfer. Knowing that there are a lot of people down there already chomping at the bit to get a job, my chances of getting transferred at my position now are very low. However, my boss man has come to me with a plan of his own and wants me to be apart of it. He's got my gears turning in my head and all the preparation needed to fulfill his plan is now being set in motion. I just hope that it pans out the way he imagines. Stay tuned on this developing story as it unfolds in the coming months. 

Monday Already???

Yep, it comes every week and yet we are still surprised and a little bummed. The weekend has come to an end and the work week is about to start. As we struggle for that last precious minute before it's time to do the morning routine to get ourselves ready, we drink our coffee, read our personal emails, catch up on Facebook, update our blogs, and maybe catch some news. As I sit here, the thought passes "What will this week bring and will be asked of me". Well whatever the answer to this question, I would love to say that I'm prepared, however are we ever really prepared?

Long Days, Short Nights

Yesterday, I put in 13 hours at work doing double duty. I helped with the payroll process, but my partner in crime is catching on and caught a few mistakes that would have been bad if not caught before payroll was processed. She is truly greater than she gives herself credit for. Our orientation went well and I'm getting my groove, now I just need to stop getting so defensive when people are trying to change things after they have been established by the ER team. We changed a few things to help with the class so people learn from the experts instead of some one just talking. As I was coming home a few weird occurrences took place before pulling in the driveway of our apartment complex. There was a tow truck on the side of road with an ambulance, which both had their lights on. Not thinking much of it, I was driving down past Taco Bell and saw two police cars racing towards me but turned up our side road and I thought to myself "Oh I bet I know where they are going". Boy was I right but never did I expect to see 2 fire engines also sitting at our complex. I pulled in and sat behind the police cars as I watched the entire neighborhood standing down by my apartment building. Then I saw the bear talking to a lady near the basketball court. I'm thinking what the hell is going on. He sees me and directs me to go around the complex and enter on the other side, but as I was turning around he caught up to the car and told me that some insane tweeker bitch just set her apartment on fire. Oh boy, a crazy person lives here, NO!!!! I can only think to myself "3 more months". Before it was over, two more fire trucks showed up as well as an ambulance to cart the crazy lady off. Just another crazy fucked up ending to a rather exhausting day.

Taking a Day Off

Doctor appointments usually mean coming in late, but I'm taking the day off to get myself taken care of. I don't want to get too descriptive for fear of the gross factor. While I recuperate, I'm taking a much needed breather and also to mentally prepare myself for whats ahead. Monday is going to be a hard day for my family and the least I can do is dog sit. Then Tuesday is my dad's birthday which thankfully enough I have work to keep me distracted for the most part. It's probably going to be a 10 hr plus day for me. But that's what I need, a good old distraction. But right now my focus is getting things taken care of and then healing. 

Time

It is the one thing that it seems to drag on yet we never have enough of. On the weekends we see it fly by so quickly. In life it seems like it went on forever when we were younger. The summers were long and never ending. Now that we are older time is just going faster and faster. I used to be one of those who would think of what could've been, but now I don't see the point because all it's doing is wasting time on something I can't change and taking me away from the future and how great things are. Time doesn't have to slow down, I just need to slow myself down and enjoy life. People who know me knows that this is no problem for me. I'm crazy after all.

Catching UP

After a long busy day at work *sarcasm*, I ended my day at a local bar with an old friend. We hadn't talked (besides on facebook) for over a year. It was so good to see him and it felt like old times. We just bullshitted for 2 hours over beers and a shot of whiskey. I really missed him and hopefully we don't go another year without hanging out, besides I owe him one now!!

Apartment Hunting

Now that I've decided that we are staying Washington for awhile longer, the bear has made it clear that we aren't staying here in these ghetto apartments, and the huge push for us was that they were upping our rent AGAIN. Granted it's only $36; however the principle is that they call themselves affordable housing but $813 isn't that affordable for what little we receive and since we can afford something better, it's time to vacate Courtside. Across the street is Woodland Apartments, very modern and wouldn't you know it spacious. We started out by talking with one of the office reps and told him our situation on how we just wanted out of the slums, which turns out that Courtside has a reputation and he and the other reps knew all to well. He jotted down a few things and asked great questions and was very professional, which is more than I can say for the Courtside peeps. After the initial meet and greet was over it was time for the tour. We started off in the clubhouse which has so much. The building is huge and so modern. They have a 24hr fitness area, 24hr quiet time (which is a blessing in the bear's eyes), a billiards table, a resort size pool, gas grills for the tenants, and even an espresso maker in the little kitchen area. They even use the same FOB system as we do at the lodge to grant access to all these areas. So impressed, and the tour continued to the first apartment, a studio. It was very nice, however I wanted more. So they showed us a one bedroom near Courtside and it was very nice as well and really something that I was looking for, but we needed a view that wasn't constantly reminding us of where we used to live, so the bear got his wish and we were shown a one bedroom in the back of the complex. I jumped up and down with excitement inside as they showed us around and I thought to myself, this is more like it. We are losing a bedroom but gaining 150 some sq ft. They then showed us the one that was actually available and told us what we needed to do to not only lock in all the specials that are going on right now, but to actually hold the apartment. Seriously, they would hold the apartment for 2 more months with the same move in specials? YES!!! All it cost was $80 for the application fee and $300 for the hold deposit. Total rent for a month is $1025. That is not bad at all and I was very happy to learn that we could actually afford this. Although there are plenty of places that may cost less, this is a great way to prove to ourselves that we could in fact afford to live down in Cali on what we make right now. So we did it, we paid the hold fee and application fee to lock down this spacious apartment, and now all we have to do is wait to hear if we are approved. If not, we do receive our $300 back, and we are back to the drawing board, but I have great hope that we will indeed be approved. Fingers crossed and hopes high, we will see.

Super Busy pt. 2

It has been a busy couple of days around the office this week. I will be so glad when this week is done and in the record books. Mostly because my boss man has been running since Monday but it mostly started on Tuesday. With the Diva gone, it's just been a mad house, granted nothing we can't handle or else they wouldn't have picked us to make up the ER (HR) Team :o). It sure makes for an interesting week for sure.

Broke But Happy

If anything has taught me through out the years is that you are only happy if you want to be. Sitting around being miserable is all on you. Being broke fucking sucks but is that a reason to be miserable? I mean, you can't change it and there will be another pay day to replenish your money. Think about what you spent it on and ask "Was it for necessity or did I have fun?" Either way, there is no need to fret. I think the worst part about being broke is being bored. There is nothing worse then sitting around the house with nothing to do and nothing to watch. Oh well, another weekend comes to a close and we are that much closer to pay day.

Addiction to Possibility

We all have our addictions to dangerous things. They range from tobacco use (cigarettes, chew, cigars, etc.) to illegal and legal drugs (meth, marijuana, pain killers, etc.). Then there are those that just deplete fundage like gambling or compulsive shopping. I think it's just human nature to have addictions no matter how big or small they may be. Some destroy lives while others are no more than hobbies in some people's eyes. Myself, I have many addictions some are mentioned above but there is one that me and the bear share that is expensive and requires saving to acquire, DISNEYLAND!! Our trips are few and far between but boy oh boy is it something that we crave. The atmosphere is just amazing and the sense of being just in Orange County is just something we both live for and actually want for a permanent residency. However, we are stuck here in Wa for the time being which could be worse I suppose. Addictions are studied constantly to see why we would do things that cause us harm, but there are far worse things in this world then a pinch of tobacco between your cheek and gums.

Retraction

No need to adapt to money loss any more. Thankfully enough I work for people now who know the value of someone. Thank you so much for letting me prove my worth and allowing me to shine through. Damn I love my job!!

Adapting

Excepting my new position came at a cost, however like in the past, I've shown how to adapt to my situation. I have learned how to manage my money to make it stretch and for the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm enjoying so adapting to the HR life wasn't hard. Not only have I received praise for the little time that I've been there, I've made mistakes that I've corrected and owned up to anything and everything. It's so damn nice to finally work for people who appreciate me, not saying I didn't get that from my previous position but lets face it my old boss isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer either. They live in a world that revolves around them and they have proven that time and time again without any sort of consequence. I'm very relieved that I now work with intelligent people who can guide me in a better direction. Oh and can help me when I ask for help, not brush me to the side, at least that is how it felt like. Their score on me being less than average has been proven wrong!!

Spoiled

I've always heard the expression "When I Was A Kid" to the point that I've started saying it when I see the youth today acting the way that they do. I can't say that all kids are spoiled but after taking a step back yesterday, it's apparently clear that the spoiled are among us. I watched as a child threw a fit and back talked their parent and thought to myself "Shit, if I had ever and I meant EVER talked to either one of my parents that way, my world would have ended at that moment regardless on who the spectators were." This kid doesn't realize all that they have and how many others would change places with them in a heartbeat  just for a small portion of what they receive. It's just outrageous to me that shit like this takes place, but I remember some of my own family members were and still are the same way. No respect what so ever, and I am glad that my futile attempts were squashed by my parents which made me a more responsible person today.

Weekend & Comicon

So I've been called a nerd for so many reasons in my life, but it never has fit more than me watching three days worth of Comicon coverage off of G4. To see all the "Real Nerds" dressed up and walking around as if it were Halloween is just funny to me, but I mainly watch it for the sneak peeks at all the up coming movies and games that weren't announce at E3. So here is to my weekend as a shut in, see ya all Monday!! OH YEAH HAPPY FRIDAY MOTHER F*****!!!!

Double Duty

My new job is going so damn well. I'm loving what I'm doing again. But, I'm still being pulled back to the old job which isn't all that bad because it feels so damn good knowing that it's temporary and the fact that the one person that should know it by now is failing big time. Only because she/he never listened to anything that I taught them. The fact that it affects me and the entire lodge, I can't just sit back and let the failure devastate the rest of us and keep us from getting paid. I'm just praying that shit falls into place soon so I can focus solely on my new position. Atleast I'm getting paid for helping out on my old rate that makes it a little easier to swallow. On a side note, things at home is so good. The bear is back torturing himself due to his brother's Disneyland trip in October and boy does the jealousy between those two shine. However, we've made future plans to head down in May for a week and then again for Christmas, so it should be a good time for us both. 

My Birthday and Junk

It was a great birthday weekend, I celebrated with friends and family. The weather was really nice and allowed us to stay outside. Friday, after contemplating whether I should stay home or go out like I promised, went out on the town with my friend and co birthday girl Amber and a few friends. We met up at Fish Tail where they were just finishing up dinner, I met Amber's sister and a school friend two others from work were there Sasha and Ali and Ali's husband. From there we decided to head over to a dive bar called McCoys and had a few drinks before Ali received a text from another co worker suggesting Whiskey. Not really sure what that meant we took to the streets once again to find what used to be the Vault. The actual name of the place was The Big Whiskey Saloon, which used to be a gangster's paradise is now a country bar, line dancing, cowboy hats, and Copenhagen in your back pocket, what's not to love. Oh and can we say mechanical bull? It was a great time with a few more drinks in us all it was time to call it a night at 1am. Saturday, my actual birthday, found me waking up to many birthday wishes via text, phone calls and facebook. I've never felt so damned loved in my life. We started out at the casino to cash in our freebies and then headed over to Chinese buffet to meet up with the bear's brother and family. The bear's folks couldn't make it but they called to say happy birthday and to give me my birthday money. From there we headed home to pack up the dogs and headed out to Shelton where we spent the rest of the day outside drinking Jack Daniels drinks. I must say one of the best drinks I've had and the fact that no one else liked the kind I was drinking I knew they were all mine for the taking. As the night drove on it was getting colder and we decided to head home at 1am. Wow two in a row, didn't think I had it in me. Sunday, we stayed in to watch 3 good movies. First was The Invention Of Lying starring Ricky Girvas and Jennifer Gardner, so funny when people are blunt and have no filter. The second was In Time starring Justin Timberlake, great movie but reminded the bear of Logan's Run. The third was a classic from 1984 All Of Me starring Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin. That one just made me smile. This was the most we've done on the weekend in a long time. But now it's time to head back to the grind, Happy Monday!!

Out On The Town

For the first time in 4 months, I've decided to be social and go out with coworkers to celebrate a birthday. It should be good times granted I won't be down there that long. Long enough for one drink with the birthday girl at least. Then tomorrow is my 34th, going to eat buffet with the family then head out to the bear's brothers to enjoy some spirits (alcohol for those who are unfamiliar with this term). He likes to call it getting faced lol. Great weekend a head!!

Happy Fourth of July!!

One of my favorite holidays is here and I actually have the day of for ER (HR) is closed due to it being a holiday. So I get to celebrate the holiday with the bear and his family today. YAY!!!!

Realizing The Possible

My voice has been heard and wouldn't you know it people actually liked my ideas on change. It's a much needed change if you ask me and now that it's being implemented into our work lives, I think things are about to become better. I don't remember the last time I smiled as much or even had a great attitude about work. It's so much more relaxed and I can breathe again. No more will I let the negative shit affect me the way I did.

6/28/12

Yesterday marks my 5th day in ER (Human Resources) for the company that I've been working for. I have to say it's really something that I've been looking for since I started working. I loved my job in accounting, but ER is more my cup of tea. Oh, and it doesn't hurt to have people appreciate you either. Nice change of pace for better lack of words and I'm loving it ALOT!!

A couple of months ago, I started making CD's from songs I already own on other albums. Just thought it would be cool to hear the variety of talent mixed together. Excited with how they turned out, I took one of them with me in Diva's car when we went out to eat and they liked the CD so much that I gave it to Diva for keeps. Well spaz also wanted one similar to what I had made and I decided to oblige. She liked it so much that she asked for a second one. Fast forward to today, with our recent position switches, one of the Sales ladies saw and listened to spaz's CD and loved it. She asked me to make her one as well. So I picked through all of the songs that I have and came up with a 18 track CD that I was assured she would love. I so certain about this that when I delivered it to her I proudly said "If you don't like this CD, YOU HATE MUSIC!!" Well to my delight, she loved it. She told me that she was very surprised and pleased.

Super Busy

I think I found my new super hero name "SUPER BUSY". My power is to take on a million projects and have only seconds to spare for all deadlines. Holy crap that was lame but hell I wasn't the most exciting person to begin with. Time will only tell if this will calm down, and maybe just maybe I'll be able to get through it all. HAHAHAHA Of course I can, because I'm SUPER BUSY!!

Our Anniversary

Yesterday marked the 13th year that the bear and I have been together. I think about 13 yrs ago I was only a baby in today's standards not even legal to drink or gamble yet. I had moved from the nest, scared yet excited to explore a whole new world. My dad once told me that I was the lucky one who got out from under my mom's thumb and moved away. I am grateful to have found someone I don't only respect, but enjoy being around and love unconditionally. He is truly my best friend and my partner for LIFE!! I love you very much and here's to another 13 years.

It Feels So Good

Back to start isn't always a great feeling to have after accomplishing so much, however this fresh new start is awesome. I can't explain the feeling of something new and seeing a whole new perspective. A new career in something different then what I'm used to is just what the doctor ordered. So I want to thank my new department for giving me this chance to yet again shine. First day was a little nerve wrecking with so much information, but it felt good. Here's to getting me trained and getting the lodge fully staffed!!

FINALLY!!!

Change is here boys and girls, I'm finally officially apart of Employee Relations (Human Resources for those who aren't familiar with the lingo). Yesterday, 6/21/12, was a hard day for me. As I sat there finishing up my last task for Accounting, I realized that I'm letting go of what I've known for the past 3 years. I'm just as nervous as I was when I came back to Accounting leaving Night Audit. Yet, I know I won't be 100% disconnected, I won't be as involved. This is a great feeling but a sad on at the same time.

It Was Nice

4 years ago, when I first started as a night auditor, I never thought that it would have lead me to an accounting career. And now, after 3 years of doing payroll and accounts receivable, I embark on a new path with all new possibilities in the world of human resources. Thanks for all the knowledge you have bestowed upon me but like Johnny 5 from "Short Circuit" MORE INPUT!!! I AM ALIVE!! Ok a little creepy, but you get the point. One door closes and another one opens, I'm watching from the rafters now!!

Just Breathe

It's almost over, I officially have a start date for HR (ER). I just can't wait and the best part is, I'm pretty much getting paid to sit there and do nothing this whole week. Well almost nothing. I'm doing something that should have been done along time ago. Something that I started a couple of times yet never finished due to time or what not. However, the task is almost complete, I just need to buckle down and finish, hence the reason I'm up so damn early this morning. I just can't wait until it's finished and I have the greenlight to just GO!!

Change Feels So Good

The wait is finally over, I am now the NEW Employee Relations Coordinator!!!! I leave behind payroll and accounts receivable for a step into the world of Human Resources, aka Employee Relations. I even surprised myself on how patient I was with this, but I think it's because of everyone else who were anxious for me. I'm taking very small hit in pay, but I'm sure I can get back to where I was fast. I'm very confident in doing well and learning fast and being able to take on more responsibility as time passes. For now, I'm totally focused on learning my new role and making sure my old one is taken care of. Thank you to all those who believed and supported me and who will stand beside me in my new transition. I'm very excited to work with some great people and sad to leave a few from my old department. Even though I'm not going very far, it feels like miles away. My bestie is now my boss, how cool is that!!?

What The Hell!!

I really hate feeling this way. So damn emotional and here I thought it would have passed after sleep. But NOOOOOO, this feeling has to carry on to today. The fucked up part is I can't seem to get it out and I think I should just be alone for a minute or two, but that isn't possible. Sheesh, wtf!!

Distraction is Good

While the relationships in our department at work is starting to mend, the news on my departure seems to be inevitable. I'm glad to see that we are all getting along finally and are starting to work as a team again, like it was when I first started back in 09. The training has brought us closer and the burden that once laid solely on my shoulders have been lifted. The work has distracted me on the decision that lays on the other department that I've applied for. I'm hoping the announcement will be made soon, but in the meantime it's been nice to have some sort of cohesiveness in the team that I once loved. I will be forever thankful and now I can say the chapter of the angry person inside of me has been closed. Yes, I still have my annoyances but that is my issue that I will deal with, I will no longer hold that against anyone. My opinion on a few things will never change, but I will no longer let that effect the day to day operations any longer. To hell with grudges that are useless and meaningless. To hell with pride that blinds me from seeing the bigger picture. I'm looking forward to a brighter future and praying that whatever happens is going to happen for good intentions.  

6/11/12

*REMOVED*

Another Week Starts

With nothing really to do this week but sit and answer questions from my boss about payroll. I anxiously wait to hear the results of the interviews. This weekend, I found myself relaxing lazily around the apartment not giving any of this a second thought. Since we are putting our Cali plans on permanent hiatus, we started to plan a nice vacation for ourselves. First we started with Florida for 2 weeks, and that ended up a little over $10,000. YIKES!!!! So we then decided a 2 week vacation to Cali and it was way more affordable, except for attempting to stay at one of the more extravagant hotels which cost the same as if we were going to Florida. Unless I was rich or something, that is never going to see the light of day sad to say. I would be happy just being there again. We then ventured out for the cost of the other parks (Knott's Berry Farm, Magic Mountain, Universal). We also decided to give Vegas a fair chance since we were only there for 5 hours in the middle of the night. Granted this trip is only on paper, but it's starting to look very promising to becoming a reality. It's not moving down there, but I'll take visiting against never being able to go again.

6/7/12

Even though I don't remember my dream last night, I actually remember something I said. I have the greatest imagination EVER!!

Slightly angry with a side of irritated equals a great day for those who aren't me.

 

You Know You're Getting Old When......

I used to be able to tell you who was who when it came to music and stars, but now days I don't know who half these people are or where the fuck they came from. The only ones I really know are those that everyone won't shut up about and you give an honest chance and all of their stuff sounds just terrible. I think the last popular person at the time that I really got into was Kesha and she isn't all that great, just enjoyable noise to me. Oh god, I just called it noise.  As I sit here thinking about it, I do have my favorites that are still around so as long as they are still doing what they do best I'll at least know them. Thank goodness I'm not stuck in a particular era like the bear is.

The Weekend is Over

Even though I still have 2 days off to go, the weekend is over for all my friends and colleagues. Oh how 5 days go by so damn fast when there is nothing to do, and even faster when there are things to do. Sitting here this weekend has made me anxious to plan another trip to California (Disneyland) for next year when we are officially 5 years and have 3 weeks vacation. I told bear that we should go down for 2 weeks instead of one on this next trip. Just let the saving begin because that is alot of money, but it's not the first time we've done that.

Procrastination

Don't you hate when you put off something for so long and when you finally accomplish that said goal you kick yourself because of how easy it was and the thought comes "Why the hell didn't I do this awhile ago?" Well my procrastination moment is with getting my eyes checked and getting new glasses, which took 30 minutes. I mean seriously what is wrong with me, knowing that I need to get this done and how simple it is to do. Oh well, it is done now and I should be able to see a whole lot better once my new glasses are in which will be about 7-10 days. After that, I start to think of all the other tasks that I've procrastinated about and realize if I had just got them done sooner, everything would be a whole lot better in the long run. SHEESH!!

I'm Currently Out of the Office

For the next 5 days, I'll be relaxing and doing nothing. This is going to be much needed R & R.

Interview & Training

So my interview went well I believe. I don't think I have anything to worry about in that department. Since I'm training my boss on payroll, I didn't really have much to do yesterday so we set up a second interview with Diva for later that day. That was changed due to her getting rushed to the ER (no pun and a little over dramatic). Me being concerned and not knowing why she and spaz left, I texted her and she was the one who told me what happened. I'm just glad that she is ok and was able to go home and rest and hopefully I'll be able to see her today, if not then I hope she is recuperating at home. So today I concentrate on getting payroll drilled into the head of my boss and deal with the backlash of her so-called evaluation that she had asked everyone to do of her. Those who know me know that I'm not shy in letting people know how I feel about them, but I don't stir the pot if I don't need to and since I was asked, I'm not going to lie and sugar coat anything. Plus, this is the first time that I've had to train anyone on the backside of payroll. Printing the reports is one thing but getting them to know what to do with them and what they mean is whole other story. Getting her to be apart of the payroll process is long over due in my eyes and maybe she'll have some input on doing the job differently. Rather it is right or wrong, she is the boss and what she says goes right? BS!!! That means BULL SHIT!!! I didn't spend all those countless hours fixing a somewhat broken process just for some wanna be know it all to swoop in and fuck it all up again. I've established a detailed methodical way of doing things to keep the process as streamline as possible and to alleviate any mistakes. If there are mistakes then they are easy to find. Hopefully she catches on like she says she can and it translates well to the next person who fills that role, but I'm getting ahead of myself really. Nothing has been announced yet and who knows if I'm really getting the other position yet. Until it's announced it's business as usual and the boss is getting the much needed training she should have had ALONG TIME AGO!!  

5/30/12

So I have my interview today for the ER (HR) position. I've finally realized that I have to stop living my life through how others feel. For the longest time, I spent too much time worrying about what a friend might feel if I did this, or am I going to disappoint someone if I do that. I've been told on multiple occasions that if it makes you happy and it's what you really want to do, then do it and shut up about it. So here I go venturing out onto something new, because I'm tired of feeling stuck and the fucked up part is I didn't even realize that was how I was feeling until dumb ass pointed it out about my predecessor and how she felt in the same position. I do like my job and what I do, but it's time for a change and since I'm getting no where with my current peeps  I must move on. Hell maybe I'll stick around a while longer and see how this plays out. April 2013 is a long ways away yet.