I Stopped Awhile Ago

When I was younger in middle school, I had this overwhelming feeling of trying to please everyone and needed everyone to like me. So I made up story after story to just fit. My most notorious one is me telling everyone I was related to Hitler. I didn't say they were the best of stories, I was only in middle school. However as time progressed my family moved around towards the end of my schooling and I just gave up making friends because I didn't know if I was going to have them the next year or not. Still, I felt awkward and didn't know why and for the ones who would listen, I kept on telling those stories. It wouldn't be until I came out when the stories would stop. My guess is my inner personality was making up lies to cover up what was truly going on inside. The realization of everyone not liking me came when I was in job corps and it bugged me still. I didn't know why at the time but I hated the fact that there was still something wrong with me to where one or more person didn't want anything to do with me. After graduation, I started to not care as much since I was going into my adult years and the petty shit was beginning to fade. I said to myself that I can still be genuinely kind and nice to everyone but I don't expect the same back to me. I really started to not care either way if someone liked me, because if they did then I have a friend for life, if they didn't I wouldn't spend too much emotion on something that will never be. At this moment, I started to find the real me. A sarcastic, loveable, sometimes immature, and caring person. I stopped pretending who I wasn't and started being me. It took a long road and self reflection to get to this point and believe me when I say, I enjoyed the ride but I will not repeat it.