Momentary Loss of Sanity

For a brief moment in time I totally lost my fucking mind. I mean really lost it and flipped out to the point no recovery. It was like my thoughts were not my own, I was channeling a totally different persons thoughts. I was told to calm down that it will be alright, but it hadn't ran it's course yet so their advice were just empty words at that particular moment. Crazy comes in so many different forms, but for me there are only two. Psycho rage to the point that all I see is red (this one is very seldom). Uncontrollable sadness to where everything is just nothing but grey and dreary. My partner in crime told me that I'm a rollercoaster of emotion that after I hit an extreme high there is a huge drop waiting in front of me. She couldn't be more right when it comes to me. More times I'm at my high all the time with a huge smile on my face and regardless on how I really feel inside the smile contains me for the most part. Then the moment arises where the hurt and bottled up emotion just explodes and I feel that the whole world is just on my shoulders waiting for me to fail and that I have no allies to back me up and I'm left out alone is when that damn drop just dumps me into the abyss of insanity. For awhile now however I've not experienced the drop which worries me because I'm wondering when it's going to happen. I get no warning, I just wake up and it's an emo song playing in my head wanting me to cry, and thoughts of everything that is sad and wrong in the world flows through my brain (kind of like that abused animal commercial that is played all the time). I'm just excepting my good mood for what it is and praying that the drop doesn't happen anytime soon. I'm happier this way because I know I'm better then what I give myself credit for, but like one of my favorite song lyrics goes "I only wish I was half as good as you think I am".