Every Moment

Just remember that every single moment counts from the little boring detail to the extravagant trips and big adventures. You never know when the final curtain call will come but before that does live your life. Let go of all the shit from the past that doesn't matter any longer and no worries about the future because it hasn't been written. Hell, stop worrying altogether because it won't get you anywhere in this life. Just throw up those middle fingers and scream FUCK IT I DON'T CARE!!

To See You Again

I finally got to meet my great nephew yesterday. My niece and her boyfriend visited the lodge and it was a very very nice surprise. It was great to see them since I wasn't able to at Easter. I decided to get them fed with a pizza voucher that I hardly use and park passes also so they could have some fun instead of his sister having to pay. My great nephew is so damn cute!!

Fun to be Had

Last night was fun, and kind of dangerous. My partner in crime was her usual self winning and winning, while Diva was having fun just watching the pretty lights of the machines and pushing the buttons. Me and the bear were just wondering around trying our luck at whatever we normally play. Not doing so well for me and not wanting Diva to be done so quickly we got more money out, hence the dangerous part. However we managed to last long enough to see my partner in crime win even bigger than I've ever seen her in the past. Diva walked away ahead, but me and the bear were 300 down. Oh well, that is the life of gambling. We had a great time and that is what mattered.

I Can't Understand

While watching the local news yesterday afternoon, a breaking story with Brian Williams comes on. The only thing that ran through my mind is Korea fucking launched their missiles and here we go with WW3. No, it had to be closer to home and during an annual event to boot. Two blasts about 20 seconds apart went off as the runners were crossing the finish line. The last report I heard was that 2 people were dead including a child and many more were injured. It reminded me of the bombing of the Olympics that were held in Atlanta years ago. This is so tragic and sad that people are still doing acts of terrorism to prove a point. I haven't heard any details on who or what may be behind this senseless act of violence, but what ever the cause it didn't need to be like this.

Mistakes

Making mistakes in our lives only makes us stronger people, but that is only if you have learned from them and do not repeat them. I find it silly that people blame everyone else and not their partaking instead they place blame on everything else around them. Come on, take ownership of what you've done. Stop blaming the world for your problems. It's ridiculous that you are just a nameless victim of society. Haven't you learned that you are in charge of your own destiny and that whatever you give is what is given back. I can understand the wrong doing that was done to you, but if you get bit by a dog, do you continue going back to pet it? 

Going Into Another World

I would like to say that I'm one of the luckiest people in the world. I'm not perfect by any means, however people forgive the imperfections and chalk it down to being human and making stupid human mistakes. I wand to thank all those who are on my side for better or for worse. The future is unknown and the past is gone, the here and now is really all we have. So let's make the most of if damn it!!

Hmmm

Random thoughts this morning as it is time to head back to work. I had a thought that might piss some people off, but instead of blasting it all over Facebook, I figured I'd jot it down where no one goes. I thought about going off the grid sort of speak and just let myself become another face in the crowd and disappear which is something I'm really good at. Since I do have the personality of a roller coaster, with my ups and downs, I can be the life of the party or a wall flower that just sits there observing the masses. I'm not one to start shit but when it involves me I certainly can hold my own. It's this feeling I get from time to time that all I want is to be left alone even though that isn't truly what I want. I love being included in night outs with friends and the jokes that are said. I'm not conceited to the point to where I need everything to be about me or even everything said to me. If I'm out of the loop on something I'm not hurt in anyway shape or form. Everyone has their own lives to lead and I'm no different. But today feels blah to me, maybe because it's Monday and I have to go back to work, maybe it's because tomorrow is the anniversary of my dad's passing. Whatever the case maybe, I just want everyone to know that I'm not trying to be a martyr or anything, just some space would be nice. Granted I have a feeling that it's not going to happen because misery likes company. I will put on my brave face and pretend nothing is wrong then get into my car and have a good cry. I will just make sure that I don't have anything sad playing on my drive. I really hate this feeling of helplessness that washes over me, and after a great weekend too. My mind just slips into a bad place and I just can't shake it. The fucked up part is everyone knows me and knows all my moods. But I'm going to fake it as best I can. My partner in crime will notice right off the bat, but I'm going to swear her to secrecy. To the ones who actually do read this please no disrespect but give me my space today.

And Yes It Can Be Done

After all of the changes I've made in my life the one prominent one is my attitude and keeping it on the level I know I can keep it. Yes, there are times when people will push me and try to break me, but I'm stronger than that and my roller coaster of emotions has completely stopped at the station. I am human and will get frustrated still but taking it out on people will no longer be my outlet. The negativity around me will no longer affect my mood. Although it does play heavy on my mind, I will no longer let it control how I feel. I'm in such a wonderful place right now that it's just making me smile on a daily basis. Surrounding myself with positivity and great people (even though they may bitch and moan from time to time) has helped a lot. Thank you for letting me blow off some steam and not completely scare you away.

Saving Time

The brother in law returned from California on Sunday (Easter) and got my wheels turning. What if we were able to pay of the credit cards and head down ourselves. Then while the bear was house sitting we received a notice of re-upping our lease and get a month free after signing. Hell there is $1000 right there and then we would have our tax return to boot. This got me thinking "how fast can I pay off the credit cards?" After doing some budgeting I realize that hypothetically I could have them paid off in 5 months. This would give us plenty of time to get our butts down there next May (2014) for a great trip. I mean fun, sun, relaxation and we only have to wait a year. Granted so much could happen with in that year, like for instance the Lodge down there could be on its way to being built and I might have to go down for job fairs and SWAT. If all goes well, I'll be relocated there in no time as a manager in some aspect. But thinking in the here and now, my plan seems plausible and all it will take is some will power and me saying NO!! Saving is my favorite thing to do when it comes to any of our trips because that means I get to budget and the bear gets to research. I know the saying why start now, well the reason is I'm getting a $60 pay per view this Sunday which means the bear needs his entertainment as well, so here is to the last hurrah before we buckle down and get serious. We need and want this trip to be amazing and the only way this is going to happen is to be strong.

How Good It Feels

All is right with the world again. The bear is home and resting comfortably in his own bed after a week plus house sitting for his brother. Easter has come and gone, granted I didn't spend it with my family this year I still managed to eat a lot of ham. We are now in April and all I can say is hurry the fuck up because it's our turn to take a trip to Disneyland damn it!!