10/11/11

The closest thing to serenity is the knowing that we have choices. My choice at this moment isn't a popular one but it is what I want to do. Anyone who has ever had to make a difficult decision knows what I'm talking about. Doing something new and away from ones comfort zone is a scarey and unpredictable place to be, but I'm ready and I'm not going to let fear control my future (I was going to say destiny but that's too cheesy). I'm proud to say that I'm going into this blindly though. I have thought long and hard about what I should do to achieve such a goal and have realized my dream at last.

12 Days and Counting

So by now everyone knows that we leave for California in now 12 days. Disneyland is our home away from home. It's one of many reasons why we want to relocate to Southern California. It has been a dream of mine for some time now and to actually see it come to fruition would be amazing. I'm super excited for this trip being the bears and my 7th time to Disneyland and my 9th time going. Our first time flying together and we couldn't be happier to be down there in 2 hours instead of the usual 2 day driving trip. I can't wait, I feel like I'm 9 yrs old all over again.

Lazy Days

God I love the weekends. The days were there is absolutely nothing to do but sit on your ass. So relaxing and enjoyable. The bears birthday was great, kind of made it a three day event for him. I took him out to Chinese buffet Friday, his dad made chicken fried steaks Saturday and having cake and ribs tonight. What a feast and event for him. Just so damn nice to be with him on his day.

Another Week

What a weird week it was to say the least. My diva went down for the count but has recovered. My partner in crime got an extra day off. I worked a shit ton of hours and right when I was down a day actually got sent home with fear of 3 hrs of overtime. I'm super stoked now since it's only 2 weeks before I'm outta here for a week, and then it's planning time to make our escape to Cali forever!! We have a two year plan in place but I don't want to wait that long. The time is here and now and it's a huge possibility for our plan to come sooner rather than later. All this happened and more this week. Wednesday will be elected the favorite day due to a surprise I received after putting in 12 hours. The bear is so damn awesome!! Month end is almost to the end and then it's preparation time for the SOX audit. I believe we are ready but that is a story for next week, wish us luck. I finally let my frustrations and anger go yesterday, life is too damn short to hold onto such negative energy for as long as I have. I look back and realize how fucking stupid it was to feel that way. I did it without saying a damn word too, which I was kind of scared that I might just blow up. Something just clicked and I sighed a little and it was just gone. So I can go on back to my old self again, back when everything was good.

The Art of Being Disappointed

Ever work a scenario in your head and the outcome to the situation never pans out the way you imagined it? I have many many times. I think that I know better, then I realize that there were major flaws in the thought process and disappointment hits HARD. I sometimes realize that it was way better that my plan didn't go through but oh how great it would be to have it your way, then they tell you to go to Burger King and you get all confused because they don't play those commercials anymore. I'm just to the point to where I would be happier if things were a little different, and the days weren't so damn annoying. A day without questioning myself to why I'm still bothering when it seems no one else fucking cares. I just smile that secret smile to show that I know how to carry on. I guess I can dream a little dream of a flawless plan right?

Taking It All In

Yesterday had to be a good day for yours truly. Almost 12 hours in and I got all caught up with everything from going home early on Friday. Last week was so freaking weird, so I'm hoping that this week goes a little smoother, but being month end (our busiest time in the accounting department) I'm going to doubt that. With our audit only a week away, things are getting a little lets just say bizarre around the office. I honestly believe we have nothing to worry about, hence the reason we had corporate here to help with all that is involved. We can play the blame game all we want, but when it comes down to it we are responsible. Plain and simple, it's just something we have to move past and just go forward with the new (not so new) changes. The reason I add "not so new" is due to the fact that this is how the department is supposed to run from the beginning and I'm now just hearing things like "We were never taught that" or "I had know idea that we were supposed to". A bunch of excuses when in fact that it hasn't been right from the beginning yet no one wants to take responsibility and continue like nothing was wrong and that this all brand new information when in fact the knowledge was right there this whole flipping time. I'm just thankful that all this was caught in time to make the changes necessary to move past this fiasco that has bestowed us. The only thing that makes me a little upset is why we weren't given the trust before from our previous boss. What was his reasoning behind it? Then again I may be just reading way too much into it. Who knows, all I can say is going forward, things will be better after all is said and done.

My Sister and Me

My older sister came down from Auburn yesterday to pick up my clarinet for her daughter. Yep, another family member is taking over the clarinet that has been passed down to me when I was in the sixth grade. My sister is back in school and showing the familiar face of any body who's in school. The frustration, stress, and fear of failing any of the many papers they'll have to do during the quarter. After venting to me about how she is a half a page shy of turning in her paper, we drove to get chicken and talked. This is special to me because growing up (teenage years btw) we didn't always get along. It was very seldom that we even hung out together. Looking back now just seems so damn pointless and I'm glad that I have developed this relationship with her now. She's been through some rough stuff, and mostly self inflicted too which she would be the first to tell you. I'm glad that she has decided to better her self and go back to school to learn what she can really accomplish in life. I had a great visit with her and the bear. In fact, the bear told her that she's his favorite out of my siblings due to the fact that she's the only one who comes to visit me out of the family. I'm just glad that me and her have a tight bond now and for that I'm grateful.