What The Funk and Other Random Thoughts

I'm super addicted to a game I've been playing all about music, it's super fun and reminds me of name that tune for the modern era.

Last night went well with all scheduled people showing up with proper documentation was even better. I love my job. I was super annoyed yesterday but it wasn't due to anything in particular just how I was feeling. I really think I handled it well way better than I used to.

I so wish we weren't so poor and idiots for spending our money on useless shit, but such is life right?

Our biggest loser competition is coming to a close and I feel real good about the results and super excited for what's to come afterwards. I pretty much reached my goal way ahead of schedule which brings me to making a new one for the same time period. I would like to be out of the 200's all together by the time my birthday in July comes. I'm tired of not being healthy weight wise.

My goal for work is to be transferred to the lodge slated to be built in California, but I still have a lot to learn before that happens, and thanks to Diva, she's been my teacher for sure. She swears that my talent is in the finance department, and although I agree with her on that, I can't get over the fact that I love what I'm doing now. It fits me more to be the people person that everyone knows and to actually be more knowledgeable to answer their questions better would be awesome.

You know the saying "You don't miss it until it's gone". Well I've been feeling this way for sometime now, but I'm not quite sure on what it is I miss truly. Is it payroll.....hahaha kind of, but not really. My grandpa or my dad, absolutely everyday!! Is it my youth and childhood friends, of course but we have to grow up sooner or later. I'm sure the feeling will subside and boil over like all the other feelings I have. I am human after all.

In 3 weeks the bear's brother is heading to Disneyland, and we couldn't be more jealous. Everyday is torture for both of us, with a lot of events triggering memories of our past trips and making us want to do like yesterday. Since I have a lot of vacation time now it's really hard to just sit here and not do anything. So sad but true.

Yesterday marked my 5th anniversary with the lodge. I truly love what I do with a few minor glitches but I guess that goes with any place. In my experience, everything has it's ups and downs and nothing lasts forever. I'm just afraid what's to come, and the fact of the unknown scares the shit out of me, but it too will pass. Well there you have it random thoughts by a very random person.

Anger Issues

We all have our gripes and complaints, and it's human nature to express them. Normally I can go day to day and hear such complaints and concerns without batting an eye lash, but yesterday just seemed to make me twinge at every turn. I don't know what the hell it was that made my ears listen in on all the negative comments and conversations, but it was like a magnet for them. I stayed in my office and just drowned myself into application after application to where I didn't have to socialize with anyone. I'm a social butterfly as everyone would probably describe me, and I flutter around sparking up conversation where ever I go, but yesterday just seemed to cocoon this guy. On a happier note, I did end up finding a picture of myself for my before picture and OMG I was fat!! I am standing next to my mom before the football game and all I can say is NO MORE BUFFET. With this weight loss success, I'm proud to say as of yesterday I'm down 23 lbs for the competition at work (which only has one more week from yesterday) and down 35 lbs from when I started my diet or I should say life style change because diets fail and people will gain back the weight. Not this clown, I'm so not going through that shit again. I feel better about myself and my whole out look on life isn't so miserable any longer. Now if only I could spread the cheer around again the people mentioned above wouldn't be so angry, but I'm not God and don't have the power to control people, or do I <EVIL LAUGH>

They Can't All Be Great

This weekend was so very low key. We decided to do a little gambling on Saturday night, which meant all plans for Sunday were out the window since we didn't get home and in bed until 4am. I got woken up by a whiny dog at 10 which meant I was in zombie mode all day. Oh the joys of having spoiled dogs. We watched the Oscars last night which wasn't anything that spectacular, just something to do since nothing else was on. Since I haven't seen any of the movies that were up for anything I wasn't really cheering for anybody in particular but was very happy about Anne Hathaway, because she is amazing in my eyes and can play almost anything she wants to. So here's to another week of fun and more fun at work, and to watching a movie with spud after work, maybe.

I'm Sure I Put It Somewhere

So a moment of loss because of extreme exhaustion last night had me misplace my intelligence and instead you got a crazy mother fucker running around laughing at nothing. Granted, I'm normally insane in my own right but I have stages of tired that most people don't know about. They may have some of the similar stages but most people stop at the first one, stubbornness. The other stages for me, is yawning, laughing at completely everything, cranky, fluxes of high and very low energy. This is just to name a few. It's the moment when my brain goes haywire and shuts down to energy saving mode. Gotta love it. Hell if it isn't Friday today, gotta love that right.

What You Don't Know

I saw on facebook the other day a post that someone put on their status that just made so much sense. It said "Ignorance is bliss, no it's simply ignorance is ignorance". These words are so true and so many people actually believe it. Whatever happened to knowledge is power? Did we lose our way in the war against stupidity? Or did we simply give up teaching people that incompetence is not okay and also really annoying? I get that the less we know the less trouble but that's no excuse or an explanation on why people do the stupid, idiotic things that they do. Here's an example: A man kills another man and when asked why he did it, he replies "I didn't know any better". BULLSHIT, and how lame is that excuse. But it falls in the realm of ignorance is bliss. In other words they didn't know that murder was bad. Okay maybe that is a little extreme, but it's truth. So the one saying that rings loud and clear is "What you don't know will kill you". Think about it.

Followed by Spirits

Sunday, we watched Paranormal Activity 4. It wasn't a bad movie, it wasn't great either. Just like the previous 3, it starts out boring as fuck, but finishes up okay. Unlike the first two, this one made no sense and had more product placement then the latter. In other words, it shouldn't have been made. Monday was a normal busy day of playing catch up. Nerves were all over the place with having corporate wondering around. But I paid no mind since there wasn't anything big happening, plus we had an update to one of our systems which found me updating all of our opened positions so that they finally load properly to our location. My partner in crime and I worked on payroll to make sure it was done on time, although she really didn't need my help all that much we did stop a tragedy from happening. She sounds like me when I was doing payroll getting all pissed off at the same shit I did. Diva had Friday and Monday off, so I tried to help her with some stuff, but alas it was futile since I wasn't sure what I was doing. And so instead of making things worse I figured I'd let it wait for the genius to return. All in all it was a good busy day.

On the work out front, I've taken the reigns and wouldn't let my team mate slack even though she was tired and sore. After massaging her neck I could tell she had slept wrong and it caused a knot in her shoulder blade, so we took it a little easier than normal on the walk at work. Diva won the prestigious "Biggest Loser of the Week" on Friday which makes me so damn proud of her. I'm still in first, followed by Diva and then our team mate. Sunday found me walking almost 5 miles not counting what I did with the dogs around the field, which made me happy. Everyday I'm finding myself thinking of new places and further distances to walk to. With no goal in sight just time against me especially on work days, I'm just walking to see how many calories I can burn and so far I'm burning more than I'm taking in. I'm not entirely sure if that is a good thing but it's working. Besides the normal work out I do in the morning the walking is doing me a world of good and the progress is showing because I'm fitting in my old Levi's again. I keep telling myself that I'm not going back to what I was, and I pray that I keep that promise. Also, this should keep the doc off of my back about my weight. I just can't get lazy and with the support I have now, I don't see that happening. Although after the competition is over I'm so eating a burger!! Then it's back to salads for me.

Thinking About You

I dream at night thanking you for being here
I wake and realizes you are not
A symbol of my grief is with this tear
Wanting you to not be gone because I miss you a lot

As the days go by and I get older
The memories start to fade
Deep in my heart is where I hold you
It's because of you are the choices I've made

To find happiness again seems lost
But you wouldn't want me to think that way
You'd want me to carry on no matter the cost
I can still hear those words you would say

You are my son, grandson and friend
Go out and make the world yours
I will always be with you until the end
Live your life and let your wings soar

Don't ever let them get you down
And if you should fall know it's not the final blow
Get back up before you drown
You have much more inside so let it show

Thinking about you makes me smile
Knowing what you taught me makes me stronger
Wishing you were here for a little while
The fact that you love me keeps me going longer